Narcissa shook her head. She didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to hear him. She stepped back out of the doorway. Her pale hands came up to grip her head, with the tips of her fingers resting in her hair. “No!” She moaned, “No, Regulus, we won’t get away from this place, we won’t get away from our name! We are the House of Black…” She tensed up when Regulus’s hands found her shoulders and turned her to face him. He wasn’t really gripping her tight, but it still didn’t feel safe.
“Cissy, please, give me a chance… let me show you…. everything we could be. Let me show you how much I love you, that I’d do anything for you… please.” Regulus leaned forward and kissed her, and Narcissa could do nothing but let herself cry. She didn’t push him away, didn’t throw a tantrum. She just couldn’t bring herself to do it to him. She realy did love him, if not in the way he loved her. She hated seeing him like this.
When he leaned back to gaze into her eyes, Narcissa stared back numbly. The word she didn’t want to have to tell him anymore was clear in them- the ‘no’ she felt so strongly needed to be understood. But he just wasn’t willing to accept it. She felt so sad for her little cousin. He slid down to a slump on the floor before her, gripping her legs with his head bowed against her. Narcissa brought both of her arms up to hug herself tight.
”Regulus…” She said shakily. “Regulus, I can’t…” Slowly, he leaned back into the doorway and let both of his hands fall limp at his sides. Narcissa hated to see the devastation in his eyes. Even so, there was nothing in this world that would make her give up her life ahead. The one that was just within grasp, so tauntingly close she practically shook with fear that Regulus would pull another stunt and Lucius would find out and be sick of her.
That was her biggest fear. If Lucius saw her the way her fights with Regulus were beginning to regularly leave her, he would no doubt think of her as weak. She didn’t want to think of herself as weak. She wanted to think she was only trying to protect her family. But it was her strongest fear. It was almost to the point of driving her to madness. Lucius wouldn’t appreciate a head case for a wife.
She leaned her hip in the doorway, with her temple pressed to it and her eyes cast down to the floor. “I’m so sorry… But I’m getting married to Lucius. I can’t be anything to you, anymore. I will be gone the night of our wedding and I won’t be back again. Regulus… No…”
Regulus couldn’t take any more of this. He didn’t want to hear another thing about her engagement or that stupid man or her stupid future that didn’t involve him. He wanted to go into his room and break something so that he didn’t break Narcissa where she stood against the doorframe.
“You know what? Fine, Narcissa. FIne. Have it your way. It’s not like you have to deal with things going any way other than such.” He rose to his feet, bitter tone in his voice. e leaned in close to her ear, and whispered. “If I die, though, it will be your fault. And when you least expect it, I’ll come back, and I will take care of you in my own way. The devil can drag me to hell if he wants, but i’ll make damn sure you go down with me.” With that, he strode out of the room and into his own.
He slammed the door and all of the plaques and photographs shuddered on the wall. He was angry. His fist found the stand-alone mirror and met it hard, shattering the glass in one fell swoop. He didn’t care, though, and Regulus kept smashing his fist into anything he could until the glass was embedded breath the top layer of skin. It stung at him, and he pressed himself down onto his bed.
“Kreacher!” He roared, and as the squat elf came wobbling in, he extended his maimed hand. “Fix this at once!” He couldn’t sit still long enough to do it himself. He wanted, for the first time, to go back to school. Studies would be a welcome distraction to the ache in his chest and the throb of his brain in his skull. It wouldn’t be too long; the holiday was almost over.
(Source: reguluslegulus)
Narcissa cringed when Regulus leapt to his feet. She watched him pace like a caged tiger, her eyes filling with worry. She didn’t need another bruise to add to her collection. It was bad enough trying not to wince every time her fiancee wanted to touch her cheek. “Narcissa, don’t you get it? I don’t want anyone else!” Regulus all but threw himself into the wall, huffing exasperatedly. Narcissa almost opened her mouth to say something, but he continued fiercely.
“It’s not that easy. Falling in love.. it hurts. And I only hope that you understand that. I love you, not everyone else. And, damn it, I could make you happy!”
Narcissa pulled her thin legs up to curl beneath her. She unconsciously tried making herself perhaps a little smaller. By this time, her pretty features were contorted with fear and concern. Growing up, she had been rather sheltered. While the harsh reality of her parents’ callousness was too obvious to avoid, her sisters had held her behind their backs protectively. Kept her pure and innocent. Bella was always the one to lash out at someone making her squirm. Now that Bella was gone, Narcissa was having to learn to do things for herself. Like fend off an angry Regulus.
”Regulus, I know it isn’t easy! I’ve been in love with the same man for nearly ten years and he’s just now returned my feelings! You have to understand that! This little obsession of yours has to stop, I’m getting married!” She stressed that last word and raised her left ring finger. “I won’t be happy staying here.” She paused to turn her eyes to the ceiling.
”I won’t be happy living here where I’ve always been. Not with my parents and yours here. Not with memories of my sister and your brother. Not with the goddamned Black name hanging over my head forever…”
She swallowed a lump in her throat and got up suddenly off her bed. She swept around him to the door and pointed with one finger. “I think you need to leave…” She said softly. She wouldn’t lift her head and look at him. She couldn’t make herself do it. She was too ashamed. She didn’t even lift her hand to wipe at her eyes in front of him. She wanted to go talk to Lucius as soon as she could. She wanted to speed this up so she didn’t have to spend any longer than necessary in the Black household.
He gave her a very hefty frown. “Cissy, we could move, get out of this godforsaken house. Our own place, where we could make a family and not give a damn about the fucking ‘noble and most ancient house of Black’!” He wasn’t shouting anymore, hissing through his teeth instead. He didn’t like this family any more than she did.
She told him to get out, and he went over to take her shoulders in his hands. The grip wasn’t hard, but it wasn’t loose. “Cissy, please, give me a chance… let me show you…. everything we could be. Let me show you how much I love you, that i’d do anything for you… please.” His eyes were pleading.
Regulus leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, gently. He wasn’t forcing, just trying to explain to her what his words couldn’t. He needed her to know, needed her to realize exactly what he meant. When he pulled away, he searched the depths of her blue eyes.
“Narcissa…. please.”
He slid down to his knees in front of her, forehead pressed to her kneecaps. It was a disgusting feeling in his stomach, black tar that weighed him down and made it near impossible to breathe. At the same time, though, it felt empty, like he was void of all emotion and would never feel anything again.
His hands pressed onto the floor boards, and he finally slid back against the door frame. He’d never hurt so much his whole life.
(Source: reguluslegulus)
Narcissa didn’t argue with him when he came to lean up against the table she sat at. She couldn’t very well scream at him to get out of her room after she had just apologized. And he seemed to be in a much better mood. She didn’t think she had anything to worry about. It was easy to mistake the affection in eyes for something else, as wrapped up in her own thoughts as Narcissa was. She set her brush down on the table, and turned to give Regulus her attention.
“I don’t like fighting either, Cissy. I’m sorry. You’re beautiful, you know that?” He said, reaching over to let two fingers catch up in her hair. For the first time, it occurred to her that he maybe had a different conversation in mind than she did. Regulus looked away from her, his eyes becoming distant as he stared out her bedroom window. She let her concern flash onto her face as he was looking away.
She was starting to feel a little bit vulnerable with his hand so close to her. “You’re happy. I wish it could be me making you that way. You need someone who gives you stability; are you sure he can do that for you? I mean, after all, he is a death eater, and his priorities are first with the Dark Lord. I’m sure this hasn’t escaped you…”
He moved to sit beside her on the stool, tilting his head to survey her pale cheek. She corrected the worried expression on her face. He brushed two fingers along her skin. It sent shivers down her spine very different from the ones she felt with Lucius. She didn’t like them. “It’s bruised, isn’t it?”
Narcissa averted her eyes. “Y-yes… Regulus, it’s bruised.” She decided to distract herself, so she rose from where she sat and went across the room to the washbasin. She came back over and leaned forward to look at herself in the mirror as she gently rubbed at the spot he had touched. As the expertly blended makeup was washed away, the remnants of a formerly nasty bruise came into view. She allowed a bit of a troubled frown to slowly appear on her lips.
She wanted to make him understand. Resignedly, she perched on the edge of her bed and faced Regulus. “I know Lucius is a Death Eater. And it isn’t all bad…” She thought to the times he had been called away from her, to go meet with the Dark Lord. She didn’t like that His army commanded so much of Lucius’s time. But she loved him, so she just told him to be safe when he left and hugged him tight each time he came back to her. “He comes back to me each time he’s called away. He finds fulfillment in it. It makes him proud to be doing something he believes in, why should I be upset about that?”
Her blue eyes came to rest on her engagement ring. She smiled fondly looking at it. “Regulus, you could have this happiness. It doesn’t have to be with me, you’ll find someone you love more.” She turned her eyes back to his again hopefully. “I really think you will. And you’ll want nothing but to be with her and make her happy… You’ll want to be her world and she will be yours. That’s what love is.”
He watched as she washed away the makeup, revealing the hideous bruise on her cheek. It looked faded, had probably been worse; He was to blame for it. She moved to the edge of her bed, and began speaking again.
“I know Lucius is a Death Eater. And it isn’t all bad…He comes back to me each time he’s called away. He finds fulfillment in it. It makes him proud to be doing something he believes in, why should I be upset about that?”
He saw her look at her engagement ring, and he felt as if he’d throw up. “Regulus, you could have this happiness. It doesn’t have to be with me, you’ll find someone you love more. I really think you will. And you’ll want nothing but to be with her and make her happy… You’ll want to be her world and she will be yours. That’s what love is.”
His temper flared, and he jumped to his feet. “Narcissa, don’t you get it?” He paced back and forth, shoving his hands into his pockets so that he didn’t hit her. He wanted to so badly, but that would solve nothing. “I don’t want anyone else!” He leaned against the wall and huffed.
“It’s not that easy. Falling in love.. it hurts. And I only hope that you understand that. I love you, not everyone else. And, damn it, I could make you happy!”
(Source: reguluslegulus)
Narcissa was basking in all the attention she got from her doting spouse-to-be. Even so, she wasn’t married to him, yet, and the rules said they had to part ways for the night. She stood out on the porch with him, wrapped up in his arms and enjoying an extremely private kiss that sent her into tiny fits of captivated joy. She didn’t know her cousin was out on the porch watching her. If she did, she would have cut it short and awkwardly trailed back inside.
She hadn’t told Lucius about what had happened before he showed up to propose to her. She just told him it was a little argument she had gotten into and left it at that. He wanted her to tell him more, but she stubbornly refused.
After all, Regulus was just a boy, still. Really, at twenty years old, Narcissa herself was still just a girl. She didn’t want Lucius crucio-ing Regulus. She would probably cry seeing that. She couldn’t just put him all the way out of her affections. He was her cousin. They grew up together, in the same house just a floor apart. She just didn’t return his feelings for her. She figured it was a passing thing, too. She figured he would meet a girl at school or something and he would fall in true love and he would understand what she felt for Lucius and leave her alone and be happy himself.
She liked to think that was what would happen, anyway. She went straight up to her bedroom when she got inside. Only when she was safely within its confines did she relax. She worried for her safety staying in the Black house while Regulus was home on holiday. She didn’t want to say anything to her parents- she was pretty sure Walburga and Orion would shoot down any accusations she made against their son and her parents would believe them over her. She didn’t want to say anything to Lucius, either, because she wanted to somehow make everything work out without Regulus coming out any worse for wear.
She sat down at the dressing table and picked up her silver hairbrush. She ran it through her hair with one hand as her fingers separated the strands it dragged down through. She admired the way her blonde tresses set her apart from the rest of the Blacks. While they were all known to be handsome people, she was proud to be the only blonde. She was startled out of her little moment of self indulgence by her cousin’s voice in her doorway.
She stiffened for a second, and turned around to see Regulus leaning in her doorway looking at her lovingly. She bit at her lip, feeling her cheeks flush pink. She took a breath as her eyes darted away from his. Seeing him again made images of herself on the floor at his mercy flash into her head. She blinked them away, though. She wanted to just forget that nasty mess and move on with her life with Lucius.
”Regulus…” She chirped. She felt a pang of guilt in her chest. Inwardly, she scolded herself for being so cruel to him the other day. She had started the ‘argument’ by taunting him, nevermind that he had goaded her first. Even taking his actions into consideration…. Maybe if she had been in a better mood coming into the house, things would have played out differently. She offered him a small, platonic type of smile.
“Regulus…” His name from her mouth was like a prayer, and for a split second, it made his heart swell. His mind ran away with it, and he could hear it in different tones. He smiled at her, and then she started talking again.
”Regulus, I just want to say I’m sorry for the way I acted the other day. We don’t need to fight.”
He nodded in agreement. He loved teasing her, but that wasn’t fighting; that was good natured fun. He didn’t like having to hurt her, or making her cry, but she’d made him that way. If she’d just return his affections, it would never have to be that way again.
He strolled over and sat next to her against the dressing table. His eyes looked up to her, gleaming in slight affection. He liked this, her not being angry or wrapped up in Lucius or anything else but here with him. He wanted it to stay this way, he wanted things to be alright. He wanted her to smile for him.
“I don’t like fighting either, Cissy. I’m sorry.” He meant it. “You’re beautiful, you know that?” He reached up to twirl a lock of her hair around his first two fingers. It was silky soft and well cared for, thick, luscious, perfect; just like her.
“You’re happy. I wish it could be me making you that way.” He huffed and looked towards the window, fingers still playing with her tresses. “You need someone who gives you stability; are you sure he can do that for you? I mean, after all, he is a death eater, and his priorities are first with the Dark Lord. I’m sure this hasn’t escaped you…” He turned back to face her, not finding anything interesting enough out the window. He rose closer, to sit on the small stool with her. His fingers touched her cheek.
“It’s bruised, isn’t it?”
(Source: reguluslegulus)
*runs up to each and every one of you, throws glitter on* BE FABULOUS!
Now that I have your attention and sparkles in your eyes, who wants to play (play? let’s go with play) with either Ren or Fenrir? Poor puppy is still in his crate, hasn’t been let out yet. Anyone wanna kick a werewolf?
For one, I hate glitter.
Secondly, though, I am mildly occupied with Narcissa at the moment, but maybe later this evening we can start a para? I’m up with it, seeing as how Regulus is a death eater. Just let me know.
Regulus had gotten a good bit of frustration on Evan’s plaything in Knockturn alley, but he was not completley satiated. He still had that burning feeling in his stomach, the one that made him just as angry as he’d been when he started walking that morning. And that was why he was still pacing about the city, as far away from 12 Grimmauld Place as possible.
It struck him then that he would have to do something to make himself less upset. He wasn’t quite sure what, but as he walked, his mind kept drifting back to Narcissa. She wasn’t technically married to Lucius yet, but talking to her parents would do absolutely no good. They were set on her becoming a Malfoy. And when Cygnus and Druella had their minds set on something, they were rare to change it. Especially not for the favor of their nephew.
He heaved a sigh. As angry as it made him, it also hurt. It was like there was a rusted knife in his heart that jut kept twisting around and around. If that was that was the case, he wished someone would just pull it out already. He noticed a small a small family pass by; father, mother, and child. The little girl looked so incredibly happy swinging back and forth between her parent’s arms. He thought, briefly, that it was he and Narcissa, and that little girl was their daughter.
He shook his head.
Images like that often plagued him, and in this situation, only made his chest hurt worse. He needed to see her, even if it was just a glimpse in her bedroom door. So he rounded off towards his home, feet picking up speed.
When he got there, he saw Lucius on the stoop and ducked behind a bush. The last thing he wanted was that little shit stopping to chat him up about the happy engagement. He might just tear the man’s eyes out if that happened. Narcissa was bidding him goodnight, and they shared a kiss before she retired back into the house. It made Regulus’ stomach churn, and he bit his knuckles to suppress the angry roar that welled in his ribcage. When Lucius disapparated, he made his way to the steps.
He made his way inside, abandoning his coat at the door and hastily taking the steps two at a time. She’d gotten up there rather quickly for the short amount of time it had taken him to get to the door, and he wondered if she was avoiding him still. She had been since their little incident.
He leaned in her doorway and for a moment, he admired her as she drug the brush through her long, white-blonde hair. She was so beautiful, and it took away his breath. ”Hey, Narcissa,” He said in a mousy voice, hands tucking themselves in his pockets.
